In Memory of Mai

A beautiful girl was taken away from us by a drunk driver. I want the world to see how full of life she was. Words can't describe how broken hearted we all are. Her family will always have a special place in our hearts and prayers.

Please Don't Drink and Drive.

How do you say goodbye, how is goodbye possible

Maida M. Sy

August 1,1991- November 15,2010

Today I watched a mother beg the lifeless body of her to daughter to wake up knowing that she will never wake up.  Today I saw a beautiful 19 year old girl lay in a hospital bed with a machine breathing for her and a tube sticking out of her skull.  I kissed the sweet face of a girl who loved my nephew and called me Auntie as if I really were her Auntie.  I too begged her to wake up, I begged God to wake her up.  This life was taken away from us by a drunk driver who walked away from the accident with his life and will now have to live with the consequences of his actions.  I am supposed to believe in forgiveness. This event is really testing my belief system and I pray not for myself but for her family who lost their only child, for my nephew who lost the love of his life, and for the world that lost a beautiful, sweet, loving, talented, bright, ----there are not enough words to fit this post to describe her. I am not ready for forgiveness.  I don't feel hatred in my heart but I have no compassion for this person either.  I won't feel sorry for him when they lock him up.  I won't feel bad about him missing his family. I don't feel bad about the fact that he will spend the rest of his life in jail and miss out on the joys of getting married, having children and celebrating Holiday with his family.  Because a face that I looked forward to seeing at my dinner table this year will not be there all because he thought it was ok to get behind the wheel of a car after drinking all night.  This beautiful face, that beautiful smile in this beautiful picture that I took with my own camera last Easter out our "karaoke" party will never sing with her sweet voice on this Earth again.

I am as heartbroken and heartbroken gets.  But come hell or high water I will be at her service next to my nephew and try not to ask God why this had to happen.  And beg Him everyday for the ability to forgive her murderer.  Because that's what he did when he got in that car drunk.  He committed murder.


Our Mai was a kindred spirit- an artist and a curious book worm who always wanted to poke through my art supplies and my books when she came to my house.  I was planning to buy her one of my favorite field guides for Christmas.  The last time I saw her, the 3 of us took a walk on the beach at dusk and  watched the sky turn colors and laughing in the dark.  She danced in my living room and we practiced speaking French because she wanted to visit France one day, like me. Not only did she speak French but English and Tagalog, the home language of my mother's giving her extra brownie points.   I always saved my make up to give her whenever I got a buy one/get one or if I changed my mind and thought it looked better on her. I sent her a facebook message just the other day telling her I wanted her to record a video with me for my youtube channel.    She would come to my house full of stories about how it was to be raised in by Filipino parents who didn't recognize their American daughter because she knew I had been there done that.  We would laugh together about it and I would imitate my mom for her.  They brought her here so that she would have a better education and a better life not so that they could bury her.  I loved her not only because she loved a boy who is as dear to me as if I had given birth to him myself but also because of who she was and what I saw in her heart.  I want the world to know how sweet she was and how much we all loved her.   I want the world to know that a piece of goodness and beauty is gone from it.

Daylight Savings Crime and the Joy of Fall in Florida

When it's time to "fall back" people always relish in the extra hour of sleep they'll get.  I dread it not just because I wish it could be daylight savings time all year round but because no one ever seems to tell Peanut it's not 8:30am.  He'll wake up at at 7:30 and stare at my face until telepathically I hear his mental whining and have no choice but to get up and stagger out the door.  How this is possible I don't know but he's always been able to wake me up that way.  Of course once we get outside he has no interest in quickly  peeing in the bushes and going back to bed like a dog who LOVES ME would, but instead prefers to pull me across the street to look for snakes and chase bunnies.  I feel sorry for anyone who happens to look out the window at us or dare walk by and say hello because I'm a bitch in the morning.  Yes I said it, I'll say it again, I'm a bitch in the morning.  This will go on until we "spring ahead" and I can finally wake up at a decent hour.


MrPea's dog walk shift starts at night time so at dusk I'm usually the one to take Peanut out, usually to the beach.  I'm a little freaked out ever since a couple weeks ago, at dusk we saw a bobcat looking at us through our back window.  I wish I had had the time to grab my camera because she was beautiful.  I'm not sure why I think it's a female, I just do. We live just a few feet from the marsh and there's an empty wooded lot right next to our building so there's plenty of room for a varmint such as that to sneak around in.  At first we thought she was just a big house cat until we looked closer and saw her big paws.  She looked at us with glamorous and cold eyes for a few seconds and then nonchalantly sauntered away down the marsh path towards the water, I'm guessing to catch snakes. I saw those eyes hiding in some bushes the next evening watching me and Peanut cross the street to the beach path. I got a little scared because, well, it's a wild bobcat big enough to eat Peanut and maybe my leg but I know I shouldn't be.  I haven't seen her since then so I wonder if she was afraid  of me.  I hope the alligators don't get her, I'd love to see her again next fall.  I've read that people can live in Florida all their lives and never see one so I feel privileged that Mother Nature gave us a glimpse.


There's also a Red Shouldered Hawk who used to hang out on one of the dead palms behind us that I haven't seen since Spring.  I may have got a picture of him(yes obviously I think it's a male but I'm not sure) somewhere in my desk top but I'm too lazy to go upstairs (for reasons you'll understand in my next post).  I will get a good shot(with my cam of course) eventually but he's always so damn jumpy every time I've ever gone out back to take a closer look, he flies away! I so appreciate the pretty feathers he leaves me.  One day I'll have to take pictures of all my treasure and post them.

 I started this post to complain about Peanut and all his short comings and then somehow started thinking about winter coming and all the changes that take place outside.  People think that Florida has no seasons or that we just have 365  days of summer but unless you live in the Keys, after a couple years, you notice the seasons.   Of course our Falls and Winters are softer on us than the rest of unfortunate souls who are damned to not live in what is as close to heaven on Earth as I can imagine.  But trust me, we have 4 seasons and I am in awe at what I get to witness during all 4.  Fall brings the morning fog and flocks of millions of birds that would scare Alfred Hitchcock himself, slow snakes looking for a warm place to pass the winter, and a southern dolphin migration so vast you feel like you're in a Discovery channel documentary.  In the winter the sea looks angry but gives me the gift of shark teeth after a NorthEaster.  The birds around the feeder are greedy and loud and sometimes on a clear and flat day a Right Whale sighting will remind me of how small I am on this Earth.   So am I bummed that summer is over?  Of course.  But  when Autumn comes I get ready for my own "hibernation" and  "renewal".  Like everyone else I get out my blankets, buy the hot cocoa, light the candles, stock up on some books and we create a little cocoon for the 3 of us here in our home to wait for the Spring.  And keep my eyes open for the "show" whilst feeling sorry for anyone who doesn't live here.

Then and Now

This is one of my and Neenee's favorite pictures of us together when we were little so when I went up to visit we decided to re-enact.  You know how I love re-enactments. Of course we got it wrong.  That's me in the yellow and her in the red in the old pic and in the new one she is wearing my pink hoodie.


BTW I'm not sure why but my profile no longer shows up on my side bar, this was going on even before I changed the template.  What's up with that?  I tried to fix it but, I don't even know how.....

Just Some Random Pictures

I haven't really been looking for shark teeth much this year(and I'm suffering from withdrawal too!) because this summer I really wanted to make exercise my priority.  I don't really get any cardio from staggering around the beach inch by inch with my eyes to the ground.  When I got home from visiting my sister a month ago, made myself a promise that I was going to look for shark teeth everyday for a week.  But lucky me I caught a cold!  Then when I finally felt better two weeks ago I twisted my ankle.  It hurt so bad I really thought I was going to pass out.  It's two weeks later and it still hurts.  I know it's not broken so I've just been trying to stay off of it as much as I can but last night I re-twisted it, isn't that wonderful.  So i don't know when I'll be able to look for shark teeth or go jogging again.  Hopefully soon cuz I'm going crazy.  Anyway I found a few pictures that I wanted to post:

I took this one on Sanibel Island last year.  I just thought this tree looked interesting


because it was a Palmetto with a Ficus growing on it.






As much as I try MrPea hates having his picture taken but Peanut doesn't mind.  This is the beach near my house.


This was a cool rainbow in a cloud that I took a couple months ago.


I may have already posted this one before but I like finding these kinds of crab shells because these two colors are so pretty together.

And I think I forgot to show you guys this one.  Remember all those sea turtle nests I was crazy about over the summer.  This is one that hatched.  You can see the trails the baby turtles made as they crawled to the water!







There's a marsh behind our house and sometimes this bunny comes for a snack.  In the spring he came in the morning but at the end of the summer he started to come at dusk.  I like him because he has short ears.



And since it's an on going thing for me here's another dead cannon ball jelly.  Have to keep up with tradition!

My declaration

I'm leaving in 2 minutes to go to the beach with Peanut but before I go I just have to say a couple things.  Since I hardly ever talk about Pop culture.  (Political rantings yes but I usually leave Pop culture alone)


-I don't care who or when or if Brett Favre(whose name everyone pronounces wrong even Brett Favre but that's another post for another day) sent or didn't send pictures of himself naked.  I couldn't care any less.  I don't care what image he had, didn't have, has now because of these pictures.  They are a non issue in my life. I don't need an apology since he didn't cheat/is not married to me.  This issue does not affect my wallet, my health or my self esteem.

-I still don't care who Tiger Woods slept with or didn't sleep with.  I'm not interested in whether or not his wife ran after him with a golf club or who crashed their car.   If I don't buy Nike products or if I do it has nothing to do with Tiger Woods.  I didn't need an apology because I still hate golf and whether or not another pro athlete(like everyone was so damned surprised that another pro-athlete cheats) cheats or doesn't cheat will ever change that.

-I didn't care when Brad left Jen for Angie.  I thought he was a good looking bad actor then.  I still think he's a good looking bad actor now.  I'm tired of hearing about how "great" Jen is doing now.  Of course she's doing great, she's a talented and beautiful woman who's moved on with her life just like millions of other women who married asshats who cheat.

-I'll admit I was a little freaked out by Mel Gibson's "demon-like" rant but only because I was in an abusive relationship in my teens so listening to it did traumatize me a little.


However, unless a person breaks a law(regarding violence), does something to affect my life, job or family, or harms a child or animal: I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS and I don't understand why we're all supposed to.



BTW on a more fun note, I finally got my beauty blog up!  Go check it out I posted a video :o)
http://www.earthangelface.com/

Back from the Underworld

The Antihistamine/Decongestant Underworld I mean.  When I got home from visiting my sister last week I thought, "Wow I got plenty of rest, I took Zyrtec everyday and ate healthy!  I didn't catch a cold-woohoo I'm home free!"  I thought wrong.  Two days later I got that sore throat announcement.  I'm finally beginning to feel better but the pollen in the wind is giving my head a good pounding.  The funniest thing about it too is that  I should have caught a cold or flu on my last trip.  Because the whole time I was in San Diego I didn't sleep at all, I didn't eat as much as usual and I'm not used to dry air.  I was like a baby, too excited to fall asleep.  There was one night I stayed up staring at the wall the entire time wishing I could sleep.  This was after two Advil PMs and I still couldn't sleep. And instead of resting like an excancer patient should, I went to that Cleopatra spring spa all day and danced all night with my BFF that night.  And still couldn't sleep after that.  So on my way home I kept thing,"Oh NO!  I hope no germy person breathes a virus on me cuz my immune system is too exhausted to keep me healthy right now!"  And I didn't get sick.  But this time at my sister's home, I slept so good and ate so much and didn't go dancing(well ok maybe in the kitchen we busted some moves but that's it I swear!).....oh well anyway.  I had fun pinching cheeks, eating my sister's good home cooking, going make up shopping while the boys were at school and taking silly pictures.  I do feel some guilt about the fact that one night her 4 year old started rapping a line from Baby Got Back but in our defense, we didn't even listen to that song!  I freely admit that it was our fault.  I asked him later on during his bath what kind of songs they sing in his preschool and he said to me frankly,"Not our songs Auntie, because I think (insert teacher's name) wouldn't like our songs."  I said,"Yeah you're right it's probably not a good I idea to sing that at school or anywhere else........" oops.


My 4 year old GodSon is the only one who doesn't need to be coerced and bribed into taking photos. We posed:






We shushed each other.



    We played stop or I'll squirt



And then we feel asleep.

Ok we pretended to be asleep.  Can you tell?  I am in full make up and the little one is about to start laughing.

Her oldest back there is now a grown up and would rather watch Hawaii 5-0 than engage in our inappropriate behavior.  So we gave him an assignment as our photographer.  I'll post more pix later....Peanut is giving me "the look"



I miss them.  I cried on the way home.